“Our culture has grown old, our churches are big and empty and the church bureaucracy rises up, our religious rites and the vestments we wear are pompous. The child sex scandals oblige us to undertake a journey of transformation.”

“Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much higher consideration.”

“These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim.”

“Do onto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error.”

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

“Corporations are not people. People have hearts, they have kids, they get jobs, they get sick, they cry, they dance. They live, they love, and they die. And that matters. That matters because we don’t run this country for corporations, we run it for people.”

“The Republican argument against President Obama’s re-election was pretty simple: we left him a total mess, he hasn’t cleaned it up fast enough, so fire him and put us back in.”

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”

“When it’s over for a woman, it’s over. You’re not getting an appeal.”

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race” 

“Believe it or not, I can actually draw.”

“You can say what you like, but there is no voter fraud. How can it be widespread and undetected?”

“Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you really love.”